Today, I was just going to be a reader. I just wanted to blog hop and participate in other peoples posts, see what’s going on in their lives, when I stumbled upon a blog called Beyond The Masquerade (Great blog name by the way. Wish I thought of it myself since it is way more fitting than my current blog name)
She’d written a post yesterday about quitting NaBloPoMo, which i’ve never heard of before. Then, of course, my curiosity got the best of me, so I looked it up. What is NoBloPoMo? It stands for National Blog Posting Month which you can read about it’s origins here on wisegeek.com
Anyway, back to my main reason for deciding to blog today… While reading her post, I thought that I could NEVER see myself accepting a challenge like that. But why? It shouldn’t be too hard to have something to say once a day right?
The difficult part for me would be the commitment of it all. And that word… at that time, just got me thinking. At first I thought, I’m not really a writer, so it wouldn’t make sense to join. But then it made me think about my life, how unorganized it is, how it isn’t really going anywhere. It made me think how I haven’t really made any meaningful commitments to anyone or anything, and it also makes me realize that maybe I’m not an interesting person at all, that maybe I don’t have anything special to offer…
Though I didn’t mean for this post to go spiraling down a drain of depression, I am going to publish it anyway. After all, this is my blog where I am supposed to be truthful and honest, right?. Such a contradiction of my life… truth and honesty. I haven’t been any of those things to myself or anyone else in a very long time, I hope one day I can change.